That First Call

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

As I said before, I learn from others. After self justification, I extract the good in them und pray to Allah s.w.t. for me to become a better person. Und surely, this one lady that has been in my life since I was a kid, is one of the few that has helped me to become me. Watching her und her family drove out from our neighbourhood, I told my husband, "I'm sad to see her leaving. She's a part of me."

Ayla: Ayla rasa today Ayla nak try call ***** sebab gynae dia perempuan. Kalau Yo kata ok, Ayla nak try call today and tanya. 
(hamek...biar Yo buat kan decision. Tak pasal kan. hahahaha.)
Yo: Ok. Yes. ***** nyer gynae sgt bes. sgt baik. sgt jujur. 
(habis semua yang baik baik dia keluarkan. beri semangat. nice.)
Ayla: Ok. Semangat! (dalam hati berdebar)
Yo: Yes!!

Ayla: Yo please guide me T_T
Yo: Ye Yo ada tepi Ayla don't worry
(padahal dia dekat office dia und I dekat office I. Boleh kannn kita masih belakon macam kanak-kanak dulu. Hehe. Cantek)
Ayla: Nak tanya apa? -_-
Yo: Tanya yada yada yada yada
Ayla: Okeh. Jap Ayla amik phone.
(so I brought my cordless phone into my office)
Yo: okay
Ayla: Ya Allah .. Nervous rasa nak nangis.
Yo: Be strong Ayla! For all u know takde pape langsung

  • So there, Yo made me made my first call to a hospital. 
  • Fuhh. I am not the type who can easily go into hospital oder clinic for check ups. The thoughts of harsh nurses und clumsy physicians oder doctors make me want to throw up. 
  • My husband is the 'no rush' type. Alhamdulillah. Aber Yo suggested for us to just go for a one time check up, if everything is fine then Syahmi und I can continue living our lives as is. I gave that a thought und discussed with Syahmi, he said "ok"
  • The good thing about Yo is, she was "there" through out the process of me making the call. If she were to say, "Ayla call now. Yo nak pergi lunch. Bye.", confirm lah I tak call kan. Hahahahahhaha. 
  • Yes, this is me. I don't do hospitals oder clinics. Even hanya call pun, sorry. I can easily feel the negative vibe of hospitals, treatments, surgery, nurses etc. Sorry mate. Definitely not my cup of tea. 
  • No cup. 
  • No tea.
Trim here, trim there.

  • Yo understands me. She knows that I don't weep oder cry over not having a child. She knows that I am happy und grateful for the family I have right now. She knows that I am NOT the type who says, "Why is this happening to me?! I want a child! Uwargghhhh!"
  • Aber our society thinks that if one has no child, then his/her life is incomplete und unhappy. I find that utterly ridiculous. 
  • Zaman Nabi pun bukan semua bisa beranak. Kalau Nabi tahu you mock orang yang tidak bisa conceive, agak-agak apa dia rasa?
  • Do not say that one is not trying enough to conceive. Aber if you really want to say that, do it the right way und with the right tone. If you don't know how then it is best for you to just shut up. 
  • =)
Ni namanya Syahmilala.
Kerja orang tiada kerja @ Ajim.
No wonder Allah buat Syahmi jadi lelaki. =D

  • So yang memang dah pergi check and results dia negative, DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF und DON'T EVER BLAME YOURSELF. 
  • Allah s.w.t. created you the way you are hence it is His plan to award you with such life. This is one of the things in life that is beyond your control. Just like you were born Chinese oder Iban etcetera. It something that you do not ask for aber you were given that und you cannot change the fact. 
  • Remember, be thankful for every calamities und happiness. 
  • May this entry helps you in seeing the other side of the coin.
Definitely not yours truly.
Ni namanya Azeemah. Hahaha.
Buat lagi face bomb. Eeeiii
No wonder Allah buat Ajim jadi lelaki. 

  • Und as for me, I already made the call aber no guarantee that I'll go for the check up. Muahahahahahhahaha. Kalau Yo baca ni mesti dia buat muka -_-
  • Jangan dibayang macam mana si Ayla ni nak jejak kaki ke hospital untuk check up nanti. Hahaha. Kalau stakat nak call pun jantung dah kencang, ni kan nak masuk for check up. Haih. I guess I need to bring a battalion with me =D Haha!
  • Before she left last night she said (sort of like this) this to me which I will always remember, insyaAllah ;-
Yo: Ayla, Allah s.w.t. knows what's best for you and Syahmi. Yo happy ada Thaqif and kalau tak ada Thaqif (as in tak conceive) pun Yo happy. Kalau ada Fik and Yo je pun Yo  happy. Sebab mana-mana pun Allah s.w.t. yang tahu and beri. 

  • JazakAllah Khayr dearest Yo.
  • Danke schon Fikri und baby Thaqif too for visiting =)


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