Fikirkan Dosa, Tiada Jalan

Bismillahirahmanirrahim
Assalamualaikum w.b.t. 

Ayla: Bibi, I nak khatam Quran lagi by the end of this year, December 31st.
Syahmi: Ok. Good.
Ayla: If I manage to do so, bibi beri hadiah ok?
Syahmi: (took a good look at me for awhile) Ok bibi, in shaa Allah.


  • Since I'm not an ustazah or those who study Islam in university, to have such goal in my heart is quite an achievement =D
  • Forget about the present I requested from Syahmi, it's nothing compared to the hurdles we have to go through together as a married couple. I told him if he gets me a bar of chocolate is sufficient. NOT a new mobile phone.
  • I realize that people always get new mobile phones as presents regardless of the number of mobile phones they already have in their hands. Why oh why.
Andalusia. Shall we go again bibi? ;-)

  • I have been so stressed up with work since the beginning of November. With Syahmi busy working 7 days a week until end of January 2014, I just don't like it. 
  • The first day him being at a workshop in P.J., he texted me quite a number of times aber came the second day, he was already indulged in the tasks und his new found friends. Of course as a wife, I felt a bit left out. 
  • Left out. 
  • I don't think he realizes that. I just hope he quits from going to the workshop on every Saturday und Sunday. As of now I don't see how the workshop will help him in his career, probably it will. PROBABLY it WON'T.
  • Aber now I just hope that he quits from going. Coming home for his gadget just sets the fire bigger.  
  • Maybe it's just me. 
The lazy 'cheese cake'. Forgot the ingredients already =p


  • So last night I turned into a horrible Barbie. Haha. Since I'm a human-sapien, not that I'm going to consider myself as a Godzilla. The stress was just too great und the fact that I want positive changes in life aber it's not happening at the moment, I just couldn't stand it. 
  • So I came up with all sorts of excuses to every little things Syahmi said. I felt that he didn't understand my feelings at all. AT ALL. 
  • So this creature named Syaitan whispered to my ears that Syahmi didn't bother at all und was more interested in his work und friends rather than being with me, the person he legally wed. 
  • I won't share with you lot what happened next aber do you get the gist of being emotionally attached to your husband? It's so scary that when you THINK that his wave length is different than yours, then everything else he does is NOT for you. 
  • I believe that's the work of Syaitan. 
  • You know when both husband und wife are happy, these scary things don't come playing into their minds. Aber when something triggers und pops up a tiny problem, the whole house catches fire. 
  • Allahuakbar. Allahuakbar. Allahuakbar. 
I prefer for us to sit und discuss matters like this.
At the end of the day, kita sabar dengan each other.
You sabar I, I sabar you. If we don't have patience, dah lama kita ca alip boat (cabut), no?
  • Then comes regrets, remorse etc. 
  • If one of us dies during arguing, then it'll be too late. Way too late. 
  • Apologize to your spouse whenever you can und repent. 
  • Jika tidak, sampai malam, esok lusa pikir dosa, memang tidak tenang. Tiada tenang kerana berkapal-kapal dosanya. 

*Bibi, we really need to go out for a walk tonight. We forgot all about it last night! =D

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