Si Mata Biru
Sahabat: Do you know why I prefer mata biru?
Ayla: No, why?
Sahabat: Sebab dia confirm tak polygamy!
- In the name of Allah the Most Beneficent, The Merciful. I did not influence her aber I get her point.
- For those who just started reading this blog, I'm nearly in my late twenties und have been married for more than four years to Muhammad Syahmi bin Mansor. I don't blame my sahabat for saying such thing. I have the empathy.
|You map your own journey, not your husband.|
- I DON'T despise polygamy aber I loath the way MOST Muslim men take. Here are a few examples of the cliche things Malay Muslim men do. Sources: movies, articles, other people's experiences etc. :
- Secretly sending love e-mails und letters to other lady at work while the wife is trying so hard to live as according to Islam und sunnah. When the wife requests for a love letter from him, he doesn't make an effort to write one. Can you imagine the wife's feelings when she found a couple of love e-mails from her husband to another lady? Allahuakbar. Oh Allah please purify the souls.
- Secretly letting other lady sits on his wife's seat (front passenger seat) on a daily basis, sending und fetching her from work while the wife makes prayer for her husband's safety while traveling. Not knowing that he is having fun talking politely to other lady when both bodies have great amount of dopamine hormone (feel-good hormone released when first fall in love). The car is no longer the wife und husband's. It is now, the husband und his mistress'. May Allah guide the souls.
- Secretly buying stuffs for the other lady while back at home he tries so hard to look broke, having no extra money other than for necessity. The wife doesn't get any presents. Even on her birthdays, there was no special non-needed items (such as diamond bracelet, vacation, etc,) were given. Can you imagine the wife's feeling when she found receipts und e-mails of purchases he made for the other lady? Allah Azza Wajalla.
- Secretly planning trips und movie dates with the other lady. The husband hardly takes the wife out for a movie due to 'NO MONEY'! But yet what ever the other lady says, he will agree. Allahuakbar. May Allah have mercy.
- Secretly he refuses to apply for holiday because he won't be able to live a day without seeing the other lady at work. He will definitely misses fetching und sending her, having lunch dates with her, chatting etc. He just prefers to be with the other lady than his own legally wedded wife. Not because he has lots of work at the office. May Allah help the wife in eliminating all her pain.
- The list goes on.
- If the above activities go on for more than a year, the husband will find a way to secretly marry the other lady with or without his wife's concern. This is cliche. It has been happening since before my father's time.
- Whatever that comes out from his wife's mouth won't be digested. Cliche.
- Don't put the blame on black magic or saka. It's the husband und other lady's fault. Very lack of tarbiyah und surely they fail to understand what life is about und forgot that Allah s.w.t. is watching them very closely.
- My advice to wives who are facing their husbands ridiculous acts to please keep on having faith in Allah s.w.t. Pray for things to become better.
- You might want to pray for your husband to realize his mistakes und get back on the right track oder you can ask for a better replacement. For one day He might send you a better husband than what you're having at the moment.
- Don't worry about love. If your husband can easily shifts his love und sacrifice from you to the other lady, you'll be able to love your new husband just as much or in fact more than your previous man with Allah's will.
- But before Allah send you a better person, keep calm und continue having faith in Allah s.w.t.
- Dear single ladies, do not be afraid of marriage. No matter who/m we are married to, there will still be obstacles und hiccups in marriage. Have faith in Allah s.w.t.
- Remember, having a spouse is not the most beautiful thing one can have. If your marriage is not meant to be forever with your spouse then let it be. Aber try to embrace the life. Calamities are meant to make us stronger und remember Allah s.w.t. at all times.
- So DO NOT BE AFRAID.