Crying vs Smiling
I realized that I have been extra emotional since a week ago. Aber only towards sad/melancholic movies oder events. Und had Adam smiling at me while I was busy shedding tears. Chit!
|I did tell him that whenever he sees someone else crying, do not smile or laugh. Aber I guess for now, he enjoys it more than having sympathy oder empathy. Huhu.|
He's 3 months-old today!
- I texted und called Syahmi almost every two hours on last Friday. I was coughing badly, had tried drinking this und that ie. home remedy aber nothing seemed to work.
- I was angry at myself for being so weak. Little that I know, Allah s.w.t. was giving me a chance to rest from daily chores, work und else. Aber I was determined that I still can do stuffs even when I'm sick. At the end of the day, I was wrong.
- At 6pm, I dragged myself into the bathroom und sat on my foldable black chair which I had put earlier on under the shower. I turned on the shower tap und let the slightly warm water rained all over my body. It was indeed so relaxing.
- I then grabbed a pair of paper scissors und used it to trimmed my hair. Continued enjoying the warm rain for about 25 minutes oder so.
- I was a new me by the time Syahmi came home.
- Since my coughing was still severe, Syahmi took me to a clinic near mama's. I got a cough syrup und pills for phlegm treatment. So I finally raised a white flag to home remedy this time.
|Home made cheese tarts. Finally! Licin ok. =D|
- The next morning, which is Saturday, I received a photo message from my mom. She whatsapped me a letter arwah aunty Aishah wrote to her. So I spent some time reading it aber that time, I literally cried like a little baby all by myself in my bedroom.
- She started of by giving Salam to mama und followed by this line,
- That line just made me cried a liter of tears.
- To those of you who have been reading this blog, since years ago, I'm pretty sure that you know who arwah is. I'll say this again, she's just like a mother to me.
- Und after reading these next few lines, I guess ten liters of tears had came out already.
- She literally wrote segera in capitals. After reading it, I believe in myself more than before. The past two weeks were quite a challenge for me. I told Ilia about how afraid I am. I have so many flaws aber yet Allah s.w.t. is sending me a little one, an amanah for me und Syahmi. How should I nurture this baby? Allahumusta'an.
- Arwah was one of the nicest people I've known. She said good things about others und constantly smiling even when she was very ill.
- I'm a second child. When everyone was busy talking about second child syndrome, she never looked down on me und always gave me the courage to be better.
- She's the type who always smiles und only shed happy tears.
- I hope Allah s.w.t. sends her the good news. She didn't manage to see my home, my office, this future little one in dunya aber I really hope that we all can meet again in His paradise.